Hellfire
by Nuit Songeur
Summary: Edward has always been one to think things through critically. What are some of his thoughts concerning retribution to eternal damnation of hellfire? Warning: Religious references, slight drabble. Parallel to "Hellfire" from the Hunchback of Notre Dame.


**A/N:** My first fanfiction for Twilight. I'm kind of nervous. But, I've had this planned out for a while now and finally transposed it as such. The song in this is a personal favorite and, upon listening to the lyrics one day, decided it would be a good fit for this.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight. Or the song shown in this. (Song: Hellfire- _The Hunchbach of Notre Dame_, perf. Tony Jay)

**Warnings:** As with my usual warning, probable typos. And, also, there are several religious references- not to be taken personal. Please know that I'm not condoning or criticizing any belief and the opinions shown in here are not necessarily my own. This fanfiction was made merely for the purposes of personal enjoyment, entertainment, and overall fun. I am not trying to offend any one here.

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Hellfire  
By: Nuit Songeur  
POV: Edward Cullen

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_Confiteor Deo Omnipotenti (I confess to God almighty)  
Beatae Mariae semper Virgini (To blessed Mary ever Virgin)  
Beato Michaeli archangelo (To the blessed archangel Michael)  
Sanctis apostolis omnibus sanctis (To the holy apostles, to all the saints)_

I've never admitted or confessed to being religious. Or, overtly religious, to the very least. Just a believer. Maybe not exactly in a higher power, just in a consequential afterlife. Where you're judged upon your actions, morality, and resolve, and from there, your past actions choose your own fate. If anything, it was Carlisle that had placed that reverence for sacred beliefs in me. Possibly in us, the entirety of our family. In my past, or beforehand up to that pivotal day, I've never felt any need or any form of influence in the slightest to answer to any God, to any Jesus, to any Virgin Mary, to any Michael, or to any other saint, apostle, or martyr for my actions. I was immortal after all, why worry about my fate when I know that- as a vampire- I was already damned no matter what I did**.**

_Beata Maria  
You know I am a righteous man  
Of my virtue I am justly proud_

When compared to the strict ways of the conservative Protestants or the sacred, traditional, and highly-regarded sentiments of the Roman Catholics, I'm definitely not someone to look up to when it comes to terms of religious sanctity. But, I've always held a level of ethic, of righteousness, that I've always tried to maintain. Simply because it's the right thing to do. And, before my period of vampirism, I'd always been taught to do the right thing. Even though I don't remember that period of time, when I was human, that upbringing became habitual and transferred to my immortal life.

_Et tibit Pater (And to you, Father)_

And, if not for the distant and cloudy human life, then I do it for Carlisle. Dr. Carlisle Cullen, the closest man I've ever had for a real father. As far as I can remember, that is. He's always been there, whether I've paid attention or not. And, if anything, I owe him. A lot. Anything I do, anything good, should be done for him. In his name, for his sake. Without him, I wouldn't be the way I am. Whether that would be good or bad. If vampirism is a sin, then so be it. It's given me family and more than enough lifetimes to contemplate.

_Beata Maria  
You know I'm so much purer than  
The common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd_

Throughout history, legends, myths, and all sorts of lore, vampires have always been considered as evil beings. Entities with no prudence who feast on the blood of humans for their own benefit, for their own survival. Male vampires seducing young, unsuspecting, innocent women for their own sexual drives while the female vampires bring out the worst in a man with their allures of temptation. Depending on the vampires, their clan, and their ancient practices, most of that stereotype is false. Still, you can't get past with the whole thing with our diet. We kill people. We were built _to_ kill people. Either kill or to transform. To multiply. At least with us- the Cullens and the Denali clan, we pride ourselves in saying that we try to break from this predatory instinct with our preference in animal blood rather than human. We separate ourselves from the norm to _try_ to be ethical.

_Quia peccavi nimis (That I have sinned)_

_**For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world.** _-1 John 2:16

Vampire to human attraction is often rare. At least, outside the level of thirst that is. Most- upon sight of a human that gives off a burning scent that leaves you unable to do anything until you drink the blood given off from that scent- simply think nothing of the situation and simply plot out simple plans to achieve the nourishment for their thirst. However, I'm bound- or at least, feel so as respect for my family- to not give into such primal endeavors. There had been conversations before within our family on how there was always that one human who gave one such an intense draw. But before that fateful day in the Forks High School biology classroom, I'd never fully comprehended the power of such an attraction.

_Then tell me, Maria  
Why I see her dancing there  
Why her smold'ring eyes still scorch my soul_

Isabella Swan was just a girl, a new student transferred from Phoenix, Arizona. Upon first glance, she seemed rather ordinary. No one special. But then, she passed by me, stumbled actually, and a draft from the class room fan picked up her scent and blasted its full power right into me, forcing me into sensory overload. Since that precise moment, Isabella Swan has never left my thoughts. Whether they be thoughts of thirst-quenching or that of romantic nature. She never has. Ever. And that is what makes Isabella Swan unlike other girls. Her very presence had, since then, imprinted itself onto my very soul. Quite involuntarily. And this, I do not understand.

_Cogitatione (In thought)_

It caused me to think of some very irrational thoughts. Thoughts I had, never before, allowed to penetrate the depths of my mind. Thoughts that would definitely send me to the lowest pits of Hades for conjuring.

_I feel her, I see her  
The sun caught in raven hair  
Is blazing in me out of all control_

Bella sat there, in class, completely unaware of the mentality I had to call upon to control myself, to remain calm. Before, I had thought she was nothing but ordinary. Ordinary Bella. That idea was completely ridiculed by my subconscious now. Her ordinary brown hair now turned lustrous, shiny, and completely intoxicating, along with her scent, to the simplest of contact. Contact that only required a visual glance. Seeing was enough for me to imagine me stroking her hair just before I sucked her dry, leaving her lifeless.

_Verbo et opere (In word and deed)_

I said nothing to her that first encounter. For fear that, should I simply open my mouth, the skeletal flavor of her scent would coat my tongue. And that, oh that, would lead to a very tragic outcome for Miss Swan. I simply- to my very best efforts- tried to ignore her presence. It was for the best. For both of us. Her for the protection of her overall well-being. And me for my own sanity.

_Like fire  
Hellfire  
This fire in my skin  
This burning  
Desire  
Is turning me to sin_

The austere power of her scent drove me mad. My mouth was burning. My throat was burning. My eyes were burning. My sheer skin was burning. To be so close to her and yet denied of what my body wanted. It was, in retrospect, ironic. I, as a vampire, was powerful enough to obtain the object of my desires so easily. It wouldn't take much. And yet, it required more strength of me to reject such temptation.

_It's not my fault  
__Mea culpa (Through my fault)_

_I'm not to blame  
__Mea culpa (Through my fault)_

_It is the gypsy girl  
The witch who sent this flame_

It was unfair. Completely unfair. I had a family, a family I had priorities for. Certainly above the wants for a silly teenage girl. Why couldn't she go back to Arizona? Why did she have to come here, to Forks, Washington, the most Godforsaken place anyone could simply just chance upon. Her? Why her?! The one with the enticing scent. The floral flavor that burned emptiness within me. Emptiness that would only be filled with her blood. This was her fault. What business did she have here? I would have to leave to prevent any mishaps due to her. If anyone was going to leave, it should her so I wouldn't hurt her pretty little neck!

_Mea maxima culpa (Through my most grievous fault)_

_It's not my fault  
__Mea culpa (Through my fault__)_

_If in God's plan  
__Mea culpa (Through my fault)_

I would leave. I saw no other choice. It wasn't what I wanted but I had to protect the girl and, most importantly, my family. Dearest Esme would certainly be hurt. Carlisle definitely would be upset and Alice would, without a doubt, not be happy. And for what? Isabella Swan. The newest, oblivious student of Forks High School.

_He made the devil so much  
Stronger than a man_

_Mea maxima culpa (Through my most grievous fault)_

And yet, it was my fault more than anything else. I wasn't strong enough to resist Bella. Not strong enough. And because of my weakness, I had to leave. Had to hurt my family, those I cared about the most. How could a simple human girl be stronger than me, a vampire with more physical strength than she could possibly dream of?

_Protect me, Maria  
Don't let this siren cast her spell  
Don't let her fire sear my flesh and bone  
Destroy Esmeralda  
And let her taste the fires of hell  
Or else let her be mine and mine alone_

Alice saw no other option. Either I would leave, or Isabella would die. And I'd already decided. Family meant more to me than a silly girl's blood. I would return soon, though. And, maybe with any luck, Bella's own clumsiness would prove to be her own demise and I wouldn't have to torture myself with her existence. And, with anymore luck, leaving for a while would mute the Siren-like song Bella's blood had for me. At least just dull its pull, if only minutely.

_Hellfire  
__Dark fire  
Now gypsy, it's your turn  
Choose me or  
Your pyre  
Be mine or you will burn_

When I had returned, I found more of an interest in Bella other than her tempting blood. An interest that quickly turned into a romantic one. And to my utter surprise, such a human interaction brought out a more happier side to me. But I knew it was dangerous. I shouldn't be around Bella. I should be dead. It wasn't right. And yet, it was what I wanted. And being around Bella was really the first thing I had done in a long time to defy what I knew from right and wrong at the sake for what I wanted. I was afraid of being with her, of being so close to her, a hair's breadth away from killing her. And yet, it was as if I was even more terrified of losing her. As if, without me, Bella's life would be at more jeopardy. And, without me, she would have already been dead. It was like a dark world, and Bella was a light in this world. A light made of fire that burned in my throat for her blood every time I was in close proximity to her.

_Kyrie Eleison (Lord have mercy)_

_God have mercy on her  
__Kyrie Eleison (Lord have mercy)_

_God have mercy on me  
__Kyrie Eleison (Lord have mercy)_

I didn't deserve Bella. No where near it. And I was going straight to Hell for screwing up her life with placing her in such danger around vampires. For exposing her to such a threat. And because of it, she wanted to forsake her own soul and become one of us. One of us monsters.

_But she will be mine  
Or she will burn!_

I've only known one thing throughout this whole experience, since that day in Biology. Bella was mine. And, if she wasn't then, I would make her mine. Even if I was going to Hell for it.

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A little dark, with the ending. But, I'm acutally proud of it. Please review! I'm already nervous enough as it is to be introduced to this fandom.

**_-NuitSongeur_**


End file.
